We’re lucky enough to know some pretty smart ladies. Every few months we have one of those women share their expertise and take stage on the Betty blog. Today Professional Coach, Lisa Danforth, is sharing some of her tips about how you can get your business to standout. Be sure to check out her website for more brand messaging advice.
We live into who we believe we are, even if those beliefs aren’t true.
Most of us can think of someone we know who’s not living up to their true potential because of their beliefs about themselves. The same goes for us.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” ― Henry Ford
The constant mind chatter that goes on in our heads keeps us tangled up and bogged down, stuck in self-doubt, continually questioning what we’re doing and what we want in our business. It makes us fearful putting ourselves out there…so we end up playing small and wondering why we aren’t doing better in our business, career or life in general.
This self-doubt trips us up in perfectionism with constant ‘tweaking’ and endless polishing before we feel confident enough to put our work, ourselves, out there. Or maybe its keeping us busy ‘over here’ doing something that looks big to the outside world, yet is not moving us closer to our goals, our dreams…fearful of putting out work out into the world for feedback or possible criticism.
Negative mind chatter can throw us off course. It can grab us by the ankles with a white knuckled grip keeping us stuck and frustrated.
It has the ability to distract us, making us question if we’re actually good at what we do, or maybe that maybe we’ve chosen the wrong path. It can even make us feel like we’re a fraud at times when we’re not confident in our abilities.
This can create a fear of failure which can become so strong we eventually stop putting ourselves out there all together.
I recently heard this statistic:
85% of people allow fear of failure to get in the way of desires and success.
And I’m betting that percentage is even higher for women entrepreneurs.
This fear of failure has us leaving so much on the table, financially AND emotionally. It’s time we recognize it for what it is, BS, and start taking control of our fears so we can finally create the life we want as a business owner, consistently, intentionally, and without apology.
Here are 5 tips to help you reduce the mind chatter and start trusting your Self, again.
#1 Our ‘story’
As I said earlier, we live into who we believe we are even if those beliefs aren’t true. If you think of yourself as a techie person, you tend to feel comfortable creating an excel spreadsheet or figuring out how to make changes to your website. If your belief is you aren’t smart enough to do those things, you tend to not even try; you’re ‘bad’ at them and either don’t make an effort or are frustrated before you even begin the project…which will directly affect the outcome.
What are your beliefs about your Self?
Write down one area in your life that’s important for you to improve
Write down specifically what your life is like in this are right now, the truth of where you are right now.
What are the beliefs and habits that put you there?
What’s your ideal vision of this area in your life? Be specific and leave all judgement of whether you can or you can’t out of this vision.
What beliefs and habits would get you to this ideal vision? Be super specific here.
What one step are you willing to commit to, to move closer to your vision?
#2 Label and Notice
This is such an important and pivotal piece in silencing the mind chatter. A simple noticing when the mind chatter pops up, recognizing it’s there, labeling it as such and then noticing what it was that triggered the chatter. Where were you? what were you doing? Who was present? Noticing where you get triggered will allow you to not go down that rabbit hole quite so fast…and if you do, it will allow you to stop and change direction without such angst.
Ooh, we get really good at hiding. So good in fact we don’t even recognize when we do it. We create things for ourselves to do that keep us busy…it may be doing more research for a project (even though you have pages and pages of data) but not getting it in front of your ideal client to receive any feedback on it. We go for one more certification, degree, take one more course getting ourselves ready to launch…when in fact we not only have more than enough education, our life experiences are enough on their own to confidently move in the direction of our dreams, our desires.
Where is it that you may be hiding, doing something big ‘over here’ but it does not move you closer to your goals? Use tip #2 here, label and notice.
#4 Play it out to the end game
We can get totally caught up in our fear of failure…the what if’s. If we do this we could potentially embarrass ourselves and ruin our reputation beyond repair, lose all credibility with our peers and colleagues if we hit ‘publish now’ on our blog, or be cast from our community because we might upset someone.
Play all your fears out to the end game. Ask your Self, ‘and what if that happens, then if that happens, and if that happens?’. Play it out. See what is really so. Expose the mind chatter for what it is, BS.
I like to equate our self-doubt, the voice of the inner critic, to the man behind the curtain in The Wizard of Oz. His voice and seemed so big, booming, and intimidating, yet when you actually pull back the curtain and look at him, he was a little nebbish man. We told ourselves a story in our head about how dangerous he was and what could happen if we did in fact look behind the curtain.
Our stories, or fears, about what will happen if we do X will keep us from stepping into our greatness, from becoming a game changer. Remember, 85% of people allow fear of failure to get in the way of desires and success. What’s scarier to you, fear of failure, or being in the exact same place next year as you are today?
Play it out to the end game
Leaping is something you do that gets you into action and playing bigger NOW. And let me say, playing bigger on your terms, no one else’s (remember, NO judgement here). It might be starting your own business, launching that new product, finally writing that book, going for a ‘stretch’ position in your company, or it might be deciding the corporate world isn’t for you and you want to stay home with your babes. Whatever playing big means for you, define it, get clear what it looks like. Ask your Self, what will it give you to go for your dreams…and ask what it’s costing you to not.
A leap should get your adrenaline running, it will feel exciting AND scary. It will put you in direct contact with the people you want to reach.
Go ahead…you’re worth it.
“I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store;
For Life is just an employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have paid.
― Jessie B. Rittenhouse
About the Author:
Hi. I’m Lisa Danforth. Connecting with people has always been a passion of mine…getting to know what makes someone tick, what motivates them and inspires them is so exciting, but helping them discover that everything it takes to create a fulfilling life is within their reach, well, that is just simply thrilling. Inspiring actually.
Visit my website for more info